This book is for parents and carers; teachers, teaching assistants, early years practitioners, educational psychologists, school senior management teams and other education professionals; support groups; youth workers, group leaders and others interested in the wellbeing and socio-emotional development of children and young people.

Managing Stress and Distress

I genuinely hope that Managing Stress and Distress is a book that will be of value to parents and carers, early years practitioners, youth workers, teachers, classroom assistants, other education professionals and indeed all those working with or caring for children and young people.

I hope everyone will wish to read the book in its entirety, but each chapter can be read as a stand-alone depending on the reader’s focus. A summary is provided detailing each part of the book and contents of each chapter to enable the reader to engage with their specific interest if they so wish.

A quick summary of the new book

Part I of the book is the Introduction. It contains chapters 1 to 4 and focuses on what we mean by the word “stress” and offers a historical and psychological perspective.

For example, it is important to remember that stress has a survival function. A moderate level of stress can be beneficial, it energises us and keeps us alert. It increases our awareness of our environment and helps us to adapt to it. In fact, the complete absence of stress is not only an impossibility, but it would also be harmful – without our capacity for a stress response we would be rendered defenceless in the event of a threat to our safety. So, stress has an adaptive function. It is our stress response system that has enabled our species to survive in often hostile environments over our entire existence.

But we also focus on the damage it can do and why stress reduction can be so important. Indeed, given children’s experience of the recent pandemic, understanding the impact of stress and developing our understanding of stress reduction techniques have probably become even more important than ever before.

Part 2 of the book contains chapters 5 to 8 and focuses on Stress and the Brain.

The brain is responsible for everything we do or say and for everything we think or feel. It determines how we react to threats - how we experience stress and how we deal with stressors. Stress impacts initially on the brain, then on the interaction between brain and body and ultimately on the body itself. But we don’t need to focus on the brain in its entirety. In considering stress and what it does, we only need to think about four distinct compartments.

The Amygdala is the switch for our flight/fight reaction. The Brain Stem is responsible for activating our stress response system. The Orbito-Frontal Cortex is responsible for regulating emotions and the Hippocampus is responsible for memory and learning. It is important for us to think about the function of each of these compartments and how they interact in order to develop our knowledge of how stress can be damaging to both our physical and psychological wellbeing.

Part 3 contains chapters 9 to 14 and focuses specifically on distress – what it is, what it does and how it is displayed.

The key to understanding distress lies in attachment theory which provides us with an understanding of how we think, feel and behave in response to threats to our existence, whether real or imagined. In a baby, it is these ‘sensed’ threats that cause distress and associated attachment behaviours. The causes of distress can be located within the child – feeling hungry or unwell; within the environment – heat, cold or loud noises; or within an attachment figure – a care giver who is unresponsive, inaccessible or rejecting.

Attachment is a behavioural system organised around a fundamental drive – survival. Attachment behaviour is a set of strategies instinctively employed by a baby to bring a caregiver close because something is wrong and is causing them distress. In this way, distress has a communicative function. It is how a child indicates that they need help, and they don’t know how to ask for it. We focus on key constructs in the attachment process which dictate how the child develops emotionally and defines how they will manage future stress and anxiety.

Part 4 contains chapters 15 to 19 and focuses on how Distress can be managed in a Positive Way

Our ability to manage a child’s distress depends upon an understanding of what we are dealing with - the behavioural result of feeling overwhelmed by one or more primary emotions which a child cannot name, process or self-regulate. Distress is an expression of an underlying need for help which involves seeking protection, safety and comfort.  Every episode of distressed behaviour contains five stages - a Trigger Stage, Escalation, Crisis, Recovery and Post Crisis. It is hugely important to develop our understanding of what is happening to a child emotionally and physically during each of these stages in order to contain distressed behaviour and help a child move on.  

Choice of the most appropriate response rests on our judgement of a situation, our knowledge of the child, and timing. Early intervention is crucial – if we intervene early enough, we can prevent a situation reaching crisis point. Early intervention enables us to make most effective use of the many strategies outlined in chapters 16 to 19. Every aspect of managing distress should involve an emphasis on de-arousal and de-fusing a situation rather than bringing about further escalation. Every message we convey both verbally and non-verbally should focus on calming a child. We can convey we are not a threat; we are listening as well as talking; and we are here to help, not too hurt.

Part 5 contains chapters 20 to 23 and revisits stress and focuses on stages of development through childhood and how transitions involved in the journey from infancy to adolescence contain differing levels of stress.

The first is the transition from baby to toddler. This is a process of moving from total dependence on a caregiver to becoming an increasingly autonomous little person. And one who is now concerned with a set of distinct “wants” as well as a set of “needs”. And whereas previously, the caregiver was obliged to try to meet these needs, they are no longer prepared to meet every one of the toddler’s wants! And the frustration caused here involves significant levels of stress and displays of distressed behaviour on the part of the child.

The second transition is from pre-schooler to the primary stage, and this involves a sudden change from playing to hard work. Stress is the result of being expected to adjust suddenly from learning through exploration and play to engaging in a structured and much more disciplined approach to learning.

Adolescence is the third transitional stage, and it involves leaving much of childhood behind in the process moving towards adulthood. It is a transition that involves significant emotional, physical and hormonal change. Adolescence is also a process whereby the brain is playing catch-up – connectivity is twenty per cent thinner in the areas that involve reasoning, thinking things through, risk assessment, impulse control and emotional regulation. And these factors conspire to provide a wide range of stressors in adolescence which can result in distressed behaviour.

Part 6 contains chapters 24 to 28 and focuses on what we mean by stress reduction, what Mindfulness involves and how it can help.

Managing distress is short term work - an immediate response to a child in crisis. Stress reduction is used in the medium term and involves the introduction and regular use of Mindfulness techniques to bring periods of emotional stillness into a child’s day. The regular practice of these techniques can lead to fewer outbursts of distress which require adult intervention. Stress reduction calms the emotional brain and helps the orbito-frontal cortex bring about emotional regulation. It helps with Impulsivity and mood swings. And just as importantly, it increases alertness and clarity of thought by stimulating activity in the cortical brain - helping cognitive development, concentration, memory function and therefore learning.

Mindfulness work with children involves the therapeutic use of breathing and other meditative techniques. Some children and young people can be described as reacting in a “mindless” way to the words or actions of others. They find it difficult to respond “mindfully” to situations or people. Here we see distress - displays of irritation, annoyance, anger and even aggressive behaviour. This is often because of adverse childhood experiences or unresolved attachment issues in infancy. Their minds are drawn between the past (memories of what has happened) and the future (anxious thoughts/worries about what might happen). And so, they exist in a reactive, stressful state with negative results for moods, emotions and behaviours.

Mindfulness is about helping these children to focus fully on the present – on the moment they are in and the experience of that moment – and to anchor their minds in the stillness and calm of the present rather the distraction of the past or future. Mindfulness helps children to understand how their minds and bodies work together and how their thoughts and feelings affect their behaviour.

By enhancing feelings of self-worth and self-confidence it helps build resilience. Practising Mindfulness also gives the brain an attention workout and helps concentration, memory and learning. And these techniques are not difficult to learn. They are enjoyable, because Mindfulness is also about imaginative thinking and fun. It can and does make a difference.

Finally, chapter 29 offers examples of what has been achieved by 2 schools who have committed to the use of Mindfulness and have embedded it firmly into their curriculum.

The following table of contents gives you a full list of the chapters and their headings.

 Chapter 1: What are stress and distress?

Chapter 2: A brief history of stress

Chapter 3: Cognitive perspectives

Chapter 4: Neuroscience and brain plasticity

Part 2: Stress and the brain

Chapter 5: Key brain components

Chapter 6: Stress chemicals

Chapter 7: The impact of stress

Chapter 8: Stress, care and learning

Chapter 9: The telomere effect

Part 3: Attachment and distress

Chapter 10: The attachment process

Chapter 11: Attachment cycles and containment

Chapter 12: Empathic attunement and the secure base

Chapter 13: The internal working model

Chapter 14: Insecure attachment styles

Part 4: Managing distress

Chapter 15: Understanding the arousal cycle

Chapter 16: Triggers and early warning signs

Chapter 17: Managing escalation

Chapter 18: Communicating through crisis

Chapter 19: Recovery and analysis

Part 5: Childhood stressors

Chapter 19: Stages of childhood development

Chapter 20: Infant to toddler – developing trust

Chapter 21: Preschool to primary – taking the initiative

Chapter 22: Primary to adolescence – forming an identity

Chapter 23: Neuroplasticity and potential for change

Part 6: Mindfulness and stress reduction

Chapter 24: The neuroscience of stress reduction

Chapter 25: Introducing mindfulness

Chapter 26: The power of meditation

Chapter 27: Breathing and breathing exercises

Chapter 28: Imagination and visualisation

Chapter 29: Outside spaces and green mindfulness

Part 7: Conclusion

Chapter 30: Summary

Chapter 31: A last word to parents and carers

Chapter 32: A last word to teachers and schools

The new book is available to buy